Featured Link
| The Success-Effect Mystery Revealed |
 |
 |
 |
| Written by Nick Bogatin |
| Saturday, 07 January 2012 10:34 |
|
We've all experienced success in our lives. Success is a random word and is measured differently by every person who uses it. No matter how we define success, we're familiar with it in varying degrees.
We've all experienced success in our lives. Success is a random word and is measured differently by every person who uses it. No matter how we define success, we're familiar with it in varying degrees. Some might consider their student experience as successful because they performed well academically and received honors, or took advanced classes. A teenager might consider their first kiss a triumph! More likely, they'll be thrilled to successfully pass their driving exam, their college entrance exam while adults talk about their successful careers, marriages, and eventually their successful children, and the circle of success continues. Have you noticed that some of your successes generate negative emotions from your closest friends? This is the "success-effect"! At the same time, some of your biggest successes seem to generate none of these emotions; no success-effect at all. Why is this? Understanding what the Success Effect is and why it shows up at some points in your life yet not at others can influence your life. You might be able to handle it effectively when it comes up in a way that brings your friends and loved ones closer to you rather than pushing them away. And this is after all, what true success is all about. Your success is like a shining light, but not always the way you would think. When you succeed, friends that have not had the same success as you may compare themselves to you, and see their own failures more clearly. They either acknowledge that which is painful OR they react negatively towards you as a self-defense mechanism. So why is it that the Success Effect only happens sometimes and not others? Remember, earlier we said success is arbitrary and each of us has our own definition of success. What this means, as it relates to the Success Effect, is that our friends and loved ones evaluate what we consider to be "success" by their own definitions. What we consider to be a huge success may not be to our friends because it doesn't meet their definition of success. In these cases, we generally don't see the Success Effect. However, regardless of the value we place on an achievement, if a friend evaluates this as a level of success they have not attained, they ask themselves a question subconsciously. "Am I moving forward to this or higher levels of success?" If their answer is "YES" then they may be supportive of your success. However, if they answer "NO" to that question... enter the Success Effect. In order to maintain close relationships, you'll want to be aware of this concept and act accordingly. No one wants to see you fail; they simply don't want to admit their own failures. Choose compassion and assist your friends and family in their growth process. In this way, the success-effect can move you towards being an outward-focused person. Be aware of the comparison you may face. So far we have been viewing this from the perspective of your successes and your friends. Let's cut the crap, you are guilty of this at times too, aren't you? We sure were... actually, quite frequently in our past. It has become much less often for us now but these emotions still show up from time to time. In fact, you are probably much further along than we were when we learned this concept. Of all the "Human Needs," Significance is the one that is pertinent to what we are discussing here. By relating our experience to those around you, we determine our "significance" based on what we're comparing ourselves to. If it's a success, and we don't have any, we may feel insignificant. . You are halfway to overcoming this negativity... We have some simple steps that allow you to cheer on your friends and families as they have their success. You won't be "run" by this emotional response any longer and feel the need for comparisons. So, let's get started: 1. Be aware of your jealous or envious feeling. 2. The truth is that there is abundance in all things. Remember that. Lack and limitation don't exist anywhere but in the ego. You can do anything. 3. Presence in the moment ways in which you are significant in your life right now. What does that feel like? 4. Send love to the successful person energetically. Create clear images in your mind why you are happy for them. Remember that your own success is just around the corner, and there is nothing more to do (for them) but to congratulate and love them. These steps will put you at ease. You'll experience a sense of peace and calm, and be free to enjoy and support your friends as they continue their journey, and you move forward with yours. Visit Mary Morrissey's video on "How To Be A Success" or you can Ask Mary Morrissey your questions! |